What the FUCK, Marvel!? Are you trying to make me hate The Punisher now?

It’s bad enough that The Punisher as a character has been totally ass-raped by every single movie ever made about him (yes, even the Dolph Lundgren version). It’s bad enough that Hot Topic and every wannabe punk/goth/emo mall store has licensed Punisher merchandise so that a whole generation of clueless junior-morons can wear a Punisher shirt and think that it’s nothing more than a “cool skull.”

Now the Punisher has a sidekick worse than Batman’s Robin could ever dream of being. Detroit’s idiotic, rapping, can’t-act-his-way-out-of-a-crackwhore’s-purse, wannabe gangsta: Eminem. Hell, I would have preferred Pee Wee Herman.

Take a look at some screenshots. Just be sure to have a bucket nearby to catch your vomit.

Yeah, Eminem with an uzi. Happens all the fucking time, it’s second nature to him. Totally.

I especially love this comic-style bio page for him, right under Frank Castle. As this page proves, Eminem is a total badass – like Wolverine, only without claws or regeneration or brains or strength (super or otherwise) or even super musical talent.

I’m willing to bet this turd doesn’t know which end is up on a chainsaw, much less how to use one.

Wait a minute… is that Gene Hackman? What the hell?? Nice subtle insertion of Eminem’s new ablum cover too.

Sadly, our uber tough hero in red doesn’t get killed in the next panel. Obviously The Punisher came to his rescue and adopted Eminem as his sidekick. Makes perfect sense.

Clearly this all just shameless promotional pandering on Marvel’s part. The latest Punisher – Punisher Warzone – flopped just like all those that came before it, and now the comic series and the character have been bastardized beyond all recognition.

Is that a real tattoo? Of course not. It’s fake, just like everything else about this douchebag.